What’s the definition of optimism?
An Investment Banker ironing five shirts on a Sunday evening.
What’s the difference between the BBC’s business editor Robert Peston and God?
God doesn’t think he’s Robert Peston.
I talked to my bank manager the other day and he said he was going to concentrate on the big issues from now on. He sold me one outside Boots yesterday.
Record unemployment levels have been announced today as the credit crunch tightens its grip. Icelandic bank robbery is reported to be among the worst hit sectors.
What do you call five hedge fund managers at the bottom of the ocean?
A good start.
A man went to his bank manager and said: ‘I’d like to start a small business. How do I go about it?’
‘Simple,’ said the bank manager. ‘Buy a big one and wait.’
The credit crunch is getting bad, isn’t it? I mean, I let my brother borrow a tenner a couple of weeks back, it turns out I’m now Britain’s fourth biggest lender.
Resolving to surprise her husband, an investment banker’s wife pops by his office. She finds him in an unorthodox position, with his secretary sitting in his lap. Without hesitation, he starts dictating, “…and in conclusion, gentlemen, credit crunch or no credit crunch, I cannot continue to operate this office with just one chair!”